I remember watching an Oprah episode about 12 years ago when Kody (my oldest) was a baby. It was about women who had changed their lives through exercise and proper nutrition. I SPECIFICALLY remember a girl who had lost about 80 pounds. She was running, pushing her son (who was the same age as Kody at the time) in a jogging stroller. I kept a paper and pen journal at that time. I made a journal entry about that mom. I could visualize myself being her. Jogging, pushing my sweet little baby boy along with me, and reaping the rewards of physical fitness.
The jogging stroller was already in my garage. I had NO excuses. I worked 3 days a week. I would take Kody on walks, that made me feel good. But those little walks weren’t getting me where I knew I needed to be. For some reason I just couldn’t being myself to break down and at least jog. In my head there was a strong voice that said over and over again that running wasn’t possible for me. Hell, I never even finished “the mile run” without walking in junior high.
Fast forward to a year ago. I’m in the throes of CrossFit, in love with what it is doing for me. Yet on days that the WOD had the word ‘run’ in it I wanted to ditch out. I could barely make it 400m without walking. My legs hurt, I was wheezing, I felt so slow and pathetic. Then I got an email about a PCF endurance class. It was 8 or so weeks of instruction to improve your running abilities. I thought, what the heck?” So, I gave it a whirl. I did learn lots and I think overall it helped push me out of some of my comfort zones. I still wasnt the most proficient runner on earth, but I did notice that my endurance was greater. I was running 800 m and not dying.
At the end of last summer it happened. “Murph” was up on the board. My first thought was, I’m going to modify the heck outta that WOD, and there ain’t no way I’m running a mile in bookend fashion around this WOD. Well, it seems that I give into peer pressure. I came in on a Sunday to do Murph with a few people who missed it during the week. I was planning my strategy for the meat of the WOD and I said to one of my friends, “what should I do about the run?” Her response was, “uh, run the whole thing”. I love her bluntness. I instantly became nervous. But to make a long story short, I did it! It took a really long time, but I ran two miles that day! I was on cloud nine for a LONG time after that.
In the back of my mind I have had a secret goal for some time to run a 5k. I have seen myself run it in my head so many times. So, it happened…and the craziest thing is that even 15 minutes prior to the race I was still insistent upon walking as soon as the going got tough. I knew that I likely had the physical endurance to pull it off, just not the mental discipline. A couple of things happened.
1. I had a pep talk from my boyfriend the whole week prior to the race. He told me, I think you are selling yourself short if you don’t think you can run the whole thing. You’ve got this.
2. I had two little boys with me (Ryan’s boys) that wanted to run it with me…I couldn’t let them down. (FYI, they smoked me :))
3. My good friend and gym buddy Debbie decided to run with me. I talked her into doing it. I know she loathes running as much as I do. But stride by stride she was right there beside me.
Our initial goal was to make it to the turnaround which was the halfway mark…we got to that point and both felt pretty good. SO, we just kept at it. About 1/4 of the way from the finish line we said, I can’t believe we did this, we are still running! We can’t stop now, this is pretty awesome!
Fifty two minutes after we started, we crossed that finish line. Yes, that is a loooooong a@@ time! But, I couldn’t be more satisfied with every minute of that 5k. Debbie texted me an hour or so later and said…”I can’t stop smiling”. I texted back, “me either”.
So, maybe I was never that mom running with my sweet baby boy in the jogging stroller…but, achieving a goal that was 12 years in the making was pretty darn amazing!